It’s no secret I’m a huge fan of the dearly departed HBO television series, the Sopranos. Maybe because much of it was shot on the ground of my youth (Satriele’s … the Pork Store … used to be a business called West Hudson Auto Parts and I spent many an hour leaning on the counter inside there, waiting for parts to take back to the shop where I worked as a helper/junior mechanic/parts chaser.
One of the better actors on the show was Edie Falco who played Carmela, the wife of the central character, Tony Soprano. One of the many writers devices used to give Carmela’s role some depth was to give her an appropriate, pithy saying to deliver every few episodes …just to show there was more to Carmela than a suburban housewife who mostly was able to ignore how her husband came by his money. Sometimes these little “Carmela-isms” would fund their way back into later episodes of the series.
One “Carmela-ism” I always remembered was advice she gave her husband when they were mulling over the purchase of a luxury home “down the shore” (If you’re from New Jersey, no need to elaborate on where that is).
After seemingly trying to talk Tony out of making such a big expenditure, “Carmela” left him to drift off to sleep with these words …
“More is lost by indecision than by wrong decisions.”
It’s clear to me now that Carmela might just as well have been talking about retirement in the Philippines. It surprises me in a way how many people write me personally or leave comments here at PhilFAQS who don’t really have specific questions … but instead want someone to ‘tell’ them if they should or shouldn’t retire to the Philippines.
To “do it” or “not do it” is, no doubt, a big decision, but it is hardly the most momentous of decisions and very seldom is it worth the agonizing so many of you seem to go through.
I’ve mentioned before, it is not really all that more difficult a decision as if you lived in California and were trying to decide on a chance to move to New York. I mean; if you avoid burning bridges and going deeply in debt, what’s the worst that could happen?
You find out that after you live there a while you hate it, so you move back to California? I mean really, not the sort of thing that will scar you for life, you know.
Here’s a conversation related to me by a friend of mine who is a senior airline captain, now retired. It involves my friend, who was the captain on that flight, (one of his last before he retired himself), his younger copilot Bob, who automatically assumed the role of so many of your own friends and family in trying to find any way possible to convince you not to break with the ‘do nothing’ status qo, and Ted, another senior pilot, ‘deadheading in the cockpit on the trip, who had just announced he was taking early retirement.
Bob asked, “What in the world are you going to do? If you leave early the retirement system they set up post-bankruptcy won’t pay you enough and things like your health insurance won’t be covered either.
Ted and I looked at each other and smiled.
“Son,” Ted said, “it is better to retire young and live poor than it is to retire at whatever age they allow you to and die with health insurance (my emphasis). I just got to the point where none of this is fun anymore and decided that quitting early and hanging out in Palm Beach (or he might have said Davao City or Subic Bay) for the next 30 years was a far superior way to live than dying in a hotel room on a business trip I didn’t want to be on of old age in five years.”
So what will you do? Work five or 10 or 15 more years in order to make some insurance company happy? Pay more per month for long term care insurance than a month of living in the Philippines will cost, or will you finally, indeed, “get off the pot”?
“More is lost by indecision than by wrong decisions.”
Definitely very true. Good article, Dave.
Thank you Bob. Yes, it’s true. Many people who could well be happy in the Philippines waste their best years waiting to get old and sick and maybe then not even suited for living here because they don’t control their own lives, they wait for someone else, like an insurance company to tell them ‘It’s OK, you can go’.
The other common old phrase I should have worked in o the article is ‘strike while the iron is hot.”. At a certain time … which of course differs for everyone … it will be “too late”, and time is the one thing no one , even Warren Buffet, can’t buy back.
Dave;
With all the time some people spend mulling over this and that. It’s already too late!
I know. I remember one guy who took me to task in “Lawyer Talk” about having to do “Due Diligence”. You know, no lawyer, no doctor, no financial advisor … not even a fortune teller … can actually predict what is going to happen.
People need to gather pertinent information and then make a decision … and live with it. It’s all any of us can do, life is not made up of certainties.
Not long ago a fellow complained to me that I hadn’t updated my cost of living report in several months. What can I say? A., keeping track of every last penny is _boring_ and it’s also a bit too much like work to me. I’m retired. B., does it really matter much if my house rental is $139.50 USD or $142.44 USD? You know I am living way cheaper than I did in the US, really, what else matters?
Dave
Excellent article. But easier said than done.
The whole process of relocating to RP is overwhelming, I am just in the infancy of it and already I am running into obstacles. I currently am trying to take one thing at a time. The easy way would be just say the hell with it and give up, I have no plans on giving up but I hope I get the ball rolling soon. I don’t want to arrive in RP riding a “Jazzy”
Well “overwhelming” is indeed a hard thing to look at, Neal. But, as you say, if you break it into one step at a time, it should be doable. Have you read my :The Move” series?
(Note there are about ten articles here, all interlinked, table of contents in the top right corner)
http://philfaqs.com/get-there/moving-there/the-move/the-move-part-one/
Feel free to write me privately as well if there’s anyhting I can help you with.
http://philfaqs.com/contact/
Dave
Thanks for the reminder, I am off to read up on the move.
Nice article Dave! We too are in the process of moving. There’s a great truth about what has been quoted above to “retire young rather than…”. Decision making has been really difficult for us. Maybe if not for the bad times we’re having in Calif. we might not be pushed into considering this early move to Pi. But I don’t have any bad feelings anymore about the effects of the downturn in states in fact, I feel good that I am able to decide clearly.
We dreamed of moving to PI long before but don’t know when as we have stable jobs and many bills to keep up with till things just keep turning 180. The good thing about our situation is we were able to build some early foundation in PI. A good apt. business, a new house and a little savings what more can I ask for? No need to wait for any retirement support. Honestly I believe that keeping busy with work specially at an active young age is a must. Accomplishing a lot of things and experiencing the fast life gives satisfaction. But sometimes it gets too much many don’t know when to step on the break until it is quite late already. For us, this is the best time for us to move.
Amen to that, good sir. The time is different for every person, but the main thing to guard against is missing the opportunity when it comes along. I just returned from attending a high school reunion of my wife’s graduating class here in the Philippines. Naturally there were a lot of alumni who are based in the US now but came for a visit to attend the reunion. Almost every one of them I talked to said the same thing … we want to move back to the Philippines, but we have to keep working in the US because we don’t have “enough”.
Of course that’s right. But just the same as jumping into deep water without knowing how to swim will kill you, sitting on the edge of the pool until you die of old age can get you too … either way you’re dead … the issue is, which route is the most rewarding?