Moral (and Legal) Dilemmas in the Philippines.
(last updated 27 March 2017)
Yesterday while researching information on a completely different subject I came across this article in linking to below.
Although it is several years old at the time of this writing, it’s still as live and viable as if it were written yesterday.
It Can Happen To You
Contents
- 1 British man facing seven years in Filipino jail for adultery goes into hiding
- 1.1 How Hard Headed Are You (And What Head Are You Thinking With)?
- 1.2 The Philippines Is NOT What You May Be Used To.
- 1.3 If You Come Here, You Aren’t In Kansas Anymore
- 1.4 The Philippines is one of the few nations that still consider certain “sexual infidelities” crimes.
- 1.5 What is adultery in the Philippines?
- 1.6 And The Law Is Not All You Have To Worry About
- 1.7 And what I am sure you will ask is destierro?
- 1.8 Instead Of Winding Up In Court, You Could Wind Up DEAD
- 1.9 Act accordingly.
- 2 Related Posts
- 3 Readers who viewed this page, also viewed:
- 4 Share this Article:
A certain segment of my readers absolutely should go and read it, right now, before you come back to hear my further discussion and (lay person, that is non-lawyerly) advice on this subject.
Who Me?
What segment of PhilFAQS readership is that, you ask?
Simple. Those of you currently living with, visiting and cohabiting with and otherwise having a romantic and/or sexual liaison with a Filipina woman who is already married. Anybody out there (no need to raise your hand, I know you’re there)
Go on, go have a read. I’ll excerpt a few points from the article for those who don’t make a practice of following links:
British man facing seven years in Filipino jail for adultery goes into hiding
A British man was hiding on a tropical island last night to avoid being jailed for adultery.
David Scott and his Filipina partner Cynthia Villamor are being hunted by authorities in her home country.
Police say Miss Villamor became pregnant with Mr Scott’s child before she officially separated from her ex-husband.
Adultery is illegal in the Philippines, where it incurs a jail sentence of at least seven years.
The couple have already spent several days in a rat-infested prison cell but were released on a technicality.
Mr Scott, 35, who met Miss Villamor on the internet, was advised to return to the UK – but refused to leave without her.
Police are thought to be trying to track the couple down to press charges against Mr Scott.
They then “fell in love” when he flew over to meet her last year.
Miss Villamor later discovered she was pregnant, and Mr Scott, a plasterer, returned to prepare for the birth next month.
His partner’s divorce is not yet finalised. And it is believed her estranged husband Noriel Delfino informed the authorities when he discovered she was pregnant.
Last weekend police officers stormed into Miss Villamor’s parents’ house in the capital, Manila, and arrested the couple.
They were held in a police cell, but then released because of a mix-up over Mr Scott’s name.
Last night he said he was determined to remain with his girlfriend until ‘this mess’ could be sorted out….
Police have told the couple they are each facing at least seven years in jail….
How Hard Headed Are You (And What Head Are You Thinking With)?
A stubborn man, Mr. Scott, but not necessarily a very clever man.
You see whenever I write articles like this … another particularly on-point one regarding adultery in the Philippines is here …
I lose readers and even sometimes get angry mail because people get really incensed feeling that I am trying to impose my “old fashioned” morality on them.
“If I want to go to bed with this woman, I will, none of your business, you stodgy, judgmental, holier than thou old man.”
Well I may be old-fashioned, and I may personally believe it is morally very wrong to cohabit with another person’s spouse, but that is not at all my purpose in writing about the dangers of screwing around with other men’s wives.
You have your own moral code. You are entitled to practice what you think is right. I am no religious leader and I don’t try to impose my views on anyone.
But the plain and simple fact that you have to consider for yourself is this.
The Philippines Is NOT What You May Be Used To.
If you’re like many of my readers, you probably consider who you go to bed with, and what their marital status is is of very little concern. People seem to hop into bed with anyone they wish, and you seldom, if ever, hear much about any negative outcomes.
If You Come Here, You Aren’t In Kansas Anymore
Philippine law imposes its own standards of conduct upon you when you come to visit or live in the Philippines. And it can be a lot more than a laughing matter.
Under the law here, your personal views just don’t have much value in how your life might get changed, perhaps forever, by the consequences of who you chose to take to bed, and in particular, who you chose to father children with.
Forget the “birds and the bees” fairy tales, these are the real-world facts of life.
The Philippines is one of the few nations that still consider certain “sexual infidelities” crimes.
Among those infidelities is the act of adultery. In the Philippines only a wife can be guilty of adultery (yes, double standards apply, and in a big way).
What is adultery in the Philippines?
Let’s see what the Philippines RPC (Revised Penal Code) has to say about adultery.
Adultery means the carnal relation between a married woman and a man who is not her husband, the latter knowing her to be married, even if the marriage be subsequently declared void. Each sexual intercourse constitutes a crime of adultery.
Lady Justice Eager to Slay Adulterers
That’s all there is to it, my friends. If she is till married (that is if she does not have a court decree of marital nullity … legal separation is NOT annulment, then she is, in effect, the “property” of her husband and you, who might enter into a relationship with her, are part of a criminal act and bring yourself well within reach of the law.
And The Law Is Not All You Have To Worry About
And by the way? Have you ever considered how angry a husband might become if he finds out that a foreigner is not only having sex with his wife, but has gone ahead and fathered a child with her?
Here’s an interesting little law tidbit. I don’t know how well it would work as a defense against a murder charge in 2017, but I am not about to find out.
I grew up in a United States where many of the states still had laws on the books that made the act of a husband killing an adulterous wife and her lover “justifiable homicide”. In the Philippines this might still be the case. The law is still on the books!
The law provides that “any legally married person who, having surprised his spouse in the act of committing sexual intercourse with another person, shall kill any of them or both of them in the act or immediately thereafter, or shall inflict upon them any serious physical injury, shall suffer the penalty of destierro” (RPC, Article 247). The accused spouse, which could be the husband or the wife, must prove the following:
- A legally married person (or a parent) surprises his spouse (or his daughter, under 18 years of age and living with him), in the act of committing sexual intercourse with another person.
- He or she kills any or both of them or inflicts upon any or both of them any serious physical injury in the act or immediately thereafter.
- He has not promoted or facilitated the prostitution of his wife (or daughter) or that he or she has not consented to the infidelity of the other spouse.
The accused must proved that he/she actually surprised the other spouse in flagrante delicto (or in the act of doing the deed), and that he/she killed the other spouse and/or the other party during or immediately thereafter.
And what I am sure you will ask is destierro?
Destierro means banishment or only a prohibition from residing within the radius of 25 kilometers from the actual residence of the accused for a specified length of time. It is not imprisonment.
Instead Of Winding Up In Court, You Could Wind Up DEAD
So under some aspects of Philippine law, the estranged (but legal) husband can walk in on an adulterous couple, kill them, and suffer no more consequence than a “house arrest” type sentence.
Word to the wise, gentlemen. In your own country,one assumes you know the law and conduct the private aspects of your life accordingly. In the Philippines, Philippine law applies … no matter what country’s passport you carry.
Act accordingly.
How do you feel about Moral (and Legal) Dilemmas in the Philippines?
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Hi Phil..
Thanks for the supporting informations.
I have researched as well that Washington state is a no “fault-divorced” state which the dissolution of marriage does not require a showing of wrong doing ny either party. The Washington judges will not listen to any evidence about marital misconduct, like adultery..
Therefore the only way for me to move on with my life is
my husband act as petitioner bcz he’s a foreigner, and file a Divorce since he’s having fun with his mistress already…
Or me as a Legal wife will wait untill he’s done playing with his chicks..and act like nothing is going on! But i think as a Woman who have self respect and value marriage as sacred is..to give way and won’t keep this marriage since there will be no more trust, faith, and respect anymore Even though i have Love still…
God Bless Phil and May you always filled with more wisdom and good health to continue your advocacy for helping me and others around the world…
Thank you.
Kay
@ Kay
Yes you have the correct picture. Like many states, Washington wants nothing to do with the “he did this, she did that” type of issues. If both parties say the marriage is irretrievably broken, the court will issue a decree of dissolution (one of the legal names for a “divorce”.
For your own benefit you must get HIM to file the action, becuase if you file, the government of the Philippines will not recognize it. Hopefully he’ll be happy tp comply with this relatively simple procedure because he will then be free for life.
Good luck and Godspeed.
@kay,
You should bring a copy of your marriage contract and a sworn affidavit by you of your legal marriage in the Philippines to the US State Dept of Consular affairs at the US Embassy.
You will tell the Embassy staff you want your marriage recorded by the US state department and for the vital records for King’s County in Washington State. Make sure you have as much information about your husband’s as possible. SSN. Home Address, Who he works for ect…
Yes, many States are offering no-fault divorces and I agree with Dave that you would want him to file an affidavit for a no fault divorce. It could even be for a mutual consent (no fault divorce).
After that has been filed and you HAVE BEEN SERVED then you can file an affidavit for temporarily support (because you are not living together) and then ask the court for alimony.
Even though adultery, abuse and other negative things are not considered for GROUNDS in a no fault divorce it is definitely considered in the temporary support and alimony phase of the process.
Once you start getting temporary support, and even if he decides not to go through with the divorce, it will be almost impossible for him to stop that temporary support.
First, things are first, get your marriage recorded. Be nice to him and encourage him to file a no fault divorce…………………………
@ Joseph
Thank you for sharing this heart warming advice. It helps me to learn more and made me feel i am not alone. Getting ideas from readers means the world to me.
I’m working overseas so i’ll try if i could make an appointment to the U.S. consulate here but im not sure if that is possible because i am a Filipino. But if not i probably will fly home and make an appointment to the U.S. consulate in Manila.
My husband don’t talk to me these week since i caugh him with evidences that he is having an affair and even living under the same roof with his mistress so it is likely impossible for him to file an affidavit of a no fault divorce. And he is guarded now he don’t even send me messages since Christmas. His mistress is holding a visitor’s visa from Hong and as what i heard they’re planning to get married. As far as i know someone who is holding a visitors visa is not entitled to get married while on a visit so they both don’t do any research at all.
I have my husband’s SSN, parents home address and his work site too. I don’t have his new address since he moved after the mistress came for a visit in July and she came again December and planning to stay.
I am just disappointed of what he is doing because when we talked he loves me , and he don’t want a divorce. That is his dialogue always but when i found out about him dating someone else. And showed him their pictures wow He hide and was furious. Geez it’s insulting and even disrespectful. How could a man tells his wife that he loves her deeply and never will divorce since he is sleeping and having fun with another woman…i am so hurt but still i talked to him nicely. Since then he just walked away and say nothing.
He is guilty as charge.
Thank you Joseph for your kind words.
God Bless.
Kay,
You can visit any US Embassy or Consulate because you are married to a US citizen. I was advising you to get your marriage recorded. Once it is recorded, your husband can’t marry anyone else in the United States until he divorces you.
You have to understand what no-fault means. Usually there are only 2 burdens to prove. One is that you are separated for a certain period of time, the second is that the marriage is irretrievably broken.
Your husband can file for a no-fault divorce if he is living with another woman or not. No-fault is intended to let people get out of a marriage without the need to provide the court a fault like adultery.
Irretrievably broken is simply that there is no longer a feeling of love for the other
person. To prove that burden is to simply stop communicating feelings of affection to the other person.
Like I commented before, that is GROUNDS for a divorce. Grounds is only one part of the process. Support or Alimony is another part in which adultery and things like that come into play.
I am not a lawyer; I am just giving you my opinion.
@ Joseph
Thanks for the details you’ve taugh me i have called the U.S. consulate today and they gave me their e-mail address. The person i have talked with told me to send thru e-mails what are my concerns and problems about my husband.
I am very grateful that thru this column i have learned a lot and can protect my right as a legal wife.
For me if he’s out of love already he should talk to me, tell me the honest truth instead of hiding and telling lies. I never will force anyone to stay in a relationship without love and respect.
I will do all the best i can to protect myself… step by step and move forward.
Kay
@ Kay (and Joseph)
Thanks for the responses. I agree completely with Joseph’s advice, but I’d like to add a bit of detail/completeness here regarding any Philippines citizen in a marriage. You must convince the US citizen partner in the divorce to be the one who files. Mutual agreements (if the state of filing even allows such motions) are dangerous to the Filipino partner in the marriage. The case for divorce MUST be filed by the US citizen partner, or the courts of the Philippines will not recognize the divorce proceeding.
In other words YOU must be the “respondent” in the case.
Now why would the man do this, as if doing a “favor” for the woman he no longer loves and respects? Quite simply he should want to free himself legally from this marriage in order to avoid legal complications in the future. Convince him, and Godspeed.
@Joseph&Phil
I have tried the best i can to forgive and understand his actions many times, but i’ve realized that a marriage no longer sacred and won’t exist when one of the couple already out of love and not happy in the relationship. I really thought it’s because were distance apart, he crave for attention and physically weak, That is why he cheated ..but it’s too unfair and selfish of him making those lies and pretending he loves me more than anything else…but the truth….he is sleeping with another woman not his wife…
No Christmas greetings,no New year’s greetings and today it’s our 1st year Wedding anniversary and the same No greetings….
It is a big slapped on my face isn’t it?
I sent him an e-mail today and asked what really his plans…it’s better to process the divorce and move on with our own life since he is no longer interested to fix our marriage.. i told him to file for the divorce rather than hiding and not communicating. Problems cannot be solve when he don’t even talk to me.
I get no responce. I have no idea what he is thinking now.
I am willing to sign the divorce paper and give him his freedom rather than keeping our marriage and made me suffer. I do not want to stress myself anymore i have a lot of things to deal too.
I might lose a Husband but i am a proud woman that i did not lose self respect.
Thank you Phil&Joseph,
It is an honor and am so grateful to get a response from you Phil..
My husband resides in Seattle Washington.
Thank you for the warmth advice…been having some research on how to sue him if he don’t stop cheating..
Kay
@ Kay
There’s no honor in a response from me, I’m just an old guy who rants about things on the Internet.
I checked the basic law in Washington State. It appears only one party (him) must be a resident to file for divorce and if both parties agree that the marriage is “Irretrievably Broken” then the court sill issue an order of dissolution after a 90 day waiting period. So if you can convince him to file, you can then take that court order and file here in the Philippines for recognition of the divorce, freeing you to remarry.
Filling any other sort of case against him is something you really need to think through carefully (and seek competent legal advice on). Before you file any sort of suit you need to think what your desired outcome would be. You could spend a fortune and achieve absolutely nothing except for the momentary glow of revenge. If this guy has truly decided to ignore you and his marriage vaows, what will a law suit against him accomplish? No court can force him to care.
Anyway, think it over and Godspeed.
I am married to a US citizen Jan of 2016 month’s after that I found out that he was cheating, and even let his mistress go to the States for a Visitors visa three times already. I saw them on Facebook. I have with me pictures of them and his family with the mistress. And i heard from my husband’s co workers that they are planning to get married…My husband said our marriage in Philippines is not legal in USA bcz they have no record’s there. I confronted my husband about him cheating and letting this Hong Kong woman visits him multiple times but he keeps denying.
My question is…is he single in US even we’re married in Philippines?
It will help if i walk in to the US embassy in Manila and sue my husband and his mistress?
What could i do?
In my head i want to sue them infedility, adultery and fornication but i have no pictures of them in bed. Only pictures of them together.
Please help me.
Thankyou..
@ Kay
Thanks for contributing. Remembering that I am not an attorney, this not legal advice, just my personal opinion, I really don’t know how I can advise you.
A husband who chooses not to honor his marital vows is a pretty poor example of manhood, IMO, but Lord knows there are so many of them. Sad.
By international treaty marriages in the Philippines are recognized by the USA, just as marriages in the USA are recognized by the government of the Philippines. Your husband’s statement about the marriage not being legal in the US is wrong. Records maintained by government agencies do not “make” a marriage, the vows of the couple before a legal marriage celebrant (presiding official) makes a marriage. But when either party to a marriage chooses not to honor it, there is often not a lot to be done.
Frankly the US Embassy doesn’t offer any solution. What your husband is currently doing is likely not considered a crime (since I don’t know what state he lives in it’s impossible to look up the statutes, every state has its own laws regarding marriage). The US State Department doesn’t regulate what US citizens do on US soil. It’s very difficult to imagine any real legal strategy which will succeed in this case. You might want to consult an attorney though, again, I’m not a lawyer.
On the run and in love………. Good Times, Good Times
Well you are right in everything you state in your article.(No woman is worth going to prison over at age 60+.) The perspective of an older man who most likely spent his younger, wilder days as a young Serviceman in the Philippines, and is now asking “what the hell was I thinking?”. I would guess there is a stigma in the Philippines that regards Americans as drunken, sex crazed good time Charlies, an image that is not too positive for those living in the Philippines now-days. Of course human nature being what it is, your article is also a fine attempt at “throwing up a smoke screen” I hope no fingers get caught in the cookie jar. I certainly considered this hazard when I have thought about moving to the Philippines and decided I am best off right here in the good old USA out of harms way.
Oh, and before I forget… cohabitation in Philippine law is more associated with concubinage.
To show you how inequitous Philippine law is for Filipino man and woman, ONE sexual act of a Filipino married woman to another man who is not her husband is ADULTERY.
While one sexual act of a Filipino married man with a woman who is not his wife is NOT CONCUBINAGE (not Adultery even in the strict legal sense for Philippine law). The following requisites must concur for a Filipino married man to be found guilty of CONCUBINAGE:
1) he cohabits with another woman who is not his wife in a place other than his conjugal home; and
2) the same is done under SCANDALOUS circumstance.
scandalous circumstance in Philippine jurisprudence can mean as simple as cohabiting with another woman in a place other than the conjugal home AND purporting themselves to be husband and wife (common-law husband/wife).
Now if the man cohabits with another woman who is not his wife in the conjugal home, THAT alone qualifies as SCANDALOUS circumstance to warrant a charge for concubinage.
The reason scholars say about the inequality was that if a married woman sires a child that is not her husband’s.. that child can easily end up sharing in the inheritance of the man, as if the child was actually legitimate.
oops it also applies to foreigners, because criminal law is territorial.
Hi Zeke, thanks for dropping by and for leaving your comment. It is definitely food for thought for many. I do have a question though abut what you mean by the reference to ‘throwing up a smoke screen”? usually that means you feel the writer is trying to hide something … and I certainly am not (Intentionally that is), but it sounds like I have given off that impression. Please, in all seriousness, can you elaborate a bit on that sentence .. I sincerely want to know … not from a point of argument, but from the standpoint of trying to become a better writer.
I think you statement about how Americans are viewed here in the Philippines is both right and also wrong. Some Filipinos seem to feel that way (unlike a lot of foreigners, I don’t feel I’m qualified to say what Filipinos actually do think). Some Americans did and some still act that way as well … frankly I’ve met a number of foreigners that make me wish the Philippines had much more strict immigration rules.
Living in the Philippines is not the right choice for everyone, by any means, so fear not I applaud your own decision to stay where you feel comfortable … but I will say that avoiding the “hazard” i wrote about is actually pretty simple for a man who ‘thinks with the right head” … don’t shack up with married women. Actually, this is a pretty good rule to follow in the US as well, not much good usually comes from it, but then again, people are human.
But the main thing, I think, is to be at ease with yourself and do what you know inside is the right thing, no matter what country you live in. Godspeed my friend.
Well I have grown old and cynical in recent years. I think your article is right on, don’t think it matters whether its married women or not, old married guys like us don’t belong there. certainly nothing wrong with your writing. I am know my cynical thinking is unfounded, but still were my thinking goes. The subject is just a tough one to write about, some one is always going to raise their eyebrows and think ” Yeah Right” Now days we are always reading news articles about some public figure who preached a good line and then got caught in the cookie jar. For me having lived in Olongapo for five very wild and crazy years Philippine fever still runs in my veins. Living in the Philippines without cold San Miguel and the company of Filipinas would be like not breathing air. In recovery circles the saying is stay away from people, places and things that will lead you astray.
OK, no problem. I can see your point clearly. I’ll tell you the truth … maybe I should write up this aspect of things as well … I seldom see anyone writing about it … this can be a very poor country to be alone in. For me (age 65 this year), it’s a great country to contemplate my aging, becuase I have a loving (younger, but not one of those way younger models) and a loving family .. a huge family in comparison to my family back in the USA. But the reason I can watch myself age with equanimity is, I have that family to look after me … they can’t lock me away in a nursing home, there virtually are none here.
And that fact is important. For every sad case you see in the USA with old, lonley people alone in nursing homes, remember this … at least they have that nursing home.
No country is right for everyone, Philippines certainly included.
(Oh, and by the way … although no “leopard ever loses all its spots”, I think you would find Olongapo a very different place than it was when you were stationed there)
I had an interesting discussion a few months ago with a niece and a nephew of mine. He’s a graduate of one of the Philippine’s finer universities and is a teacher at a prestigious Metro Manila elementary school … influencing young lives every day. His younger sister is an outstanding high school student whose dream is to become an attorney.
The brother was suggesting to her in no uncertain terms, “You need to become a corporate lawyer, that’s where the money is.”
He kind of asked me to weigh in, but he didn’t like my recommendation.
“I recommended civil rights, especially women’s rights”, offerring up my opinion that the law here is very heavilyy biased against women. Wow. Shock and dismay. What a strange tito they have 😉
You would htink with the education these two have they would have known some of the primnary inequites their kababayan have to deal with on an every day basis.
My onw country, in my view, still has glaring issues with true equality, but just within in my lifetime we have made great strides. Most of these advancements came about by people recognizing the inequities that existed and then working to change them. If you can’t acknowledge a problem you can’t fix it.
One of the big issues many Americans face here is not only are many laws gender biased, but even many educated folks have yet to even get to the stage of recognizing what bias, especially gender bias, actually is.
I think you know me well enough to realize I am not saying this as a slam toward Filipinos, but a recognition of the fact that there are a lot more difference between our basic cultures than balut and ube ice cream. If you come here to live, you have to recognize you are not in Kansas any more 😉
very well researched Dave… coming from one lawyer, that is! 😉 No matter how antiquated those laws are THEY are STILL LAW! Which means, dura lex sed lex (the law may be hard but that is the law).
Thank you so much for that, ma’am. I always hate to a., venture into areas where I am unqualified and b., offer up what many take as personal (none of my business) advice, but sometimes the request I get for help just keep harping and harping on the ‘wrong things’. People want to know how they can get jobs here that don’t really exist and how they can live happily ever after with sweethearts they have met when it just isn’t possible unless they change their legal situation. So somebody has to say it every once in a while … thanks for that dura lex sed lex quote, I’ll use it if I write on this subject again … which I don’t plan to do for a while … but then again, planning is hardly my strong suit.
Dave; I agree with JohnM you are going to hear alot of colorful reasons on why they do what they do.
What most Westerners fail to understand the law is the law and you must repect the law. Just because you
have money and a large amount of Filipinas (not All) will do anything to nail down a westerner and live a better life married or not does not save you from the law.
By the way I to have Old Fashion Morality and I belive now adays people just don’t care. Their into
self-gradification with no regards on who they hurt in the process.
So true, so true.
Dave: I predict that you’ll hear a whole lot of stupid after this one. This issue is very common here, and a foreigner, with few enforceable rights in a legal marriage, has virtually none in these situations. People fall in love and get stupid. This guy has himself in a real mess: Even if he goes to prison, he faces immediate deportation and blacklisting once he’s released. Their best option would be for him to leave and for her to follow to a 3rd country once her legal mess is resolved, but, you know that won’t happen.
So true. You know I have lost count of how many guys have written to me for advice about how to start making a liivng with a new wife/new family and when I suggest they stay in the US and bring their new found love there (among other reasons so that she can cease to become a ‘second class” foreigner wife under laws such as the Social Security act, their response is, “Oh I can’t do that she is already married.”
Ummm, hello. You expect your future to be … what, exactly?