Yesterday morning dawned unseasonably wet and cloudy. We’re stuck in a weather pattern here that’s highly unusual for the ‘dry season’. There have been some bad floods and landslides up north in the Cagayan valley and down south the weatherman keeps talking about the ITCZ … Intertropical Convergence Zone which promises to gives Mindanao and some of the Visays a soggy Christmas.

And while it may still be a few more days ’til Christmas it is very muuch in full swing here. Mita wanted to get some things from the supermarket so we got the trusty diesel horse out of the stable and splashed off on the less than 2km trip to SM City, Marilao.

Actually the mall is even much closer than that as the crow flies … we could probably see it from our house except there’s a huge warehouse complex at the edge of our subdivision between us and the mall, and the road layoout is such that we have to drive a few blocks north before we can turn west to reach the shopping center. You can actually see it on my map of shopping centers … just look for “Philly’s House”. (my goodness there’s at least 4 malls been added since I made that map last year, Mr. Sy was just opening one earlier this week up in Pangasinan where sister Lala lives … she’ll be happy I am sure )

At this time of year there is one time and one time only to get to the mall … before they open, at10am. Yes, before they open, especially if you want to find a parking place near the door. bring your umbrella and stand in line until the guard opens the doors on the dot of 10 … or else be prepared for everything on your visit to take longer.

We got there at about 10:20. What, you expected me to heed my own advice?

Parking was still ok and there was no line at security. They take security semi-seriously here. There are security guards in the driveway going toward the parking lots that examine some vehicles … opening trunks and an under-car mirror scan for, apparently, infernal devices. I’ve seen them actually ‘looking’ a few times, most of the time it’s a bit lackadaisical, so I’m not sure just how effective the procedures are.

After the ‘scan guy’ you come to the ‘ticket booth’. At malls in the city you can expect to pay for parking, People persist in thinking we live in the city … but we don’t .. we’re very much considered “provincianas” (think “hicks” for my USA readers) by businesses for example … you can see on the map I linked to above that our little town is surrounded by a lot of open land, even though it is an industrial/manufacturing area.

One advantage to going to a mall out in the provinces is, the parking is free … but you do have to stop and get a little ticket with your license plate number witten on it by the ‘ticket guard’. If you are smart, you tuck the ticket in your wallet, not leaving it in the car, becuase you need that ticket to leave the parking lot at the end of the day (yes, there’s ticket collector guard too) and if you leave it where a thief can see it there’s a bigger chance your car might get stollen. Reducing car theft is SM’s stated goal for this free ticket system.

I personally think it’s just paving the way for free parking to change to paid parking, but I don’t care, I’m living for today. (with modification, see below).

Living for today leads me to my first big tip of this article: Remember that old humor line, “Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday”? Well here in the Philippines it is always tomorrow. If you are going to live here comfortably and without stress you need to pay close attention to the days of the week and the calendar in both the Philippines and your home country.

If you have pensions, online payments, Social security benefits and such being paid into a bank … either ‘here’ or ‘there’, you already know many of them come on the first of each month. Well when it’s the first ‘here’ it’s not hey the first ‘there” (unless your ‘there’ is on this side of the Dateline). So don’t expect to spend your bank deposit on the morning of the first of the month. It just ain’t happening.

It’s also morning ‘here’ when it’s night ‘there’. So if you have, let’s say a federal pension payment, paid by DFAS, they will send it. electronically, to your bank typically about 1 or 2 am, DFAS time on the first of the month. That’s the earliest it will come in. That’s 3 pm or later on the first here.

Banking days here in the Philippines typcially change over between noon and 3 pm, so even if the first is a weekday, your funds aren’t typically available until Tuesday, in banking terms. If the first falls on a weekend, all bets are off.

Does your receiving bank have people processing the payments working in the wee hours of a Saturday or Sunday? Typically, no, so it may be Monday morning, local bank time before the payment is processed. It is technically ‘in the bank’ but it won’t show up for an ATM witjhdrawl or any money transfer services until your bank processes it. If Monday is a holiday? More fun is in store.

Labor day that just passed was good example. Mnay people had money due on the first, which was a Sunday night and banks were closed on Monday for the three-day weekend … that meant nothing happened money-wise until Tuesday morning US time, likley long after banks here closed their Tuesday business.

Then you need to factor in Philippine holidays. both national holidays and Catholic Church and Muslim holidays. If you’re not a Catholic you better dig up one of those calendars with all the feasts of the saints and other church-oriented days highlighted, because separation of church and state does not exist here.

In the US Halloween is just a fun day for kids and costume parties, here, on All Saints day, everyone is going to be at the cemetery and not only will the roads be clogged beyond belief, but business is just not going to get done.

The takeaway? Don’t come here to live payday to payday. be especially careful of bills that are due in the first 5 or 6 days of the month. For example, my rent is due on the 5th of each month. I had better have the cash for the rent put away during the preceding month. Becuase if I depend on pulling money from the teller machine on the morning of the fifth here in the Philippines it just may not happen.

My first order of buisness at the mall was to get some cash. Drat. A long line at the teller machine. No matter, I knew I should have come earlier. Just fall in line and be happy. “Falling in line” is a big thing here. No, again, lesson learned in the past. Is anyone getting money up there at the head of the line? Nope. Double drat!,. “Off line, sir”.

Why 20 people would line up and wait like sheep for the slaughter in front of a dead machine is beyond me, but it’s a lesson learned. Just accept it and go to the next machine. Aha, that one is “patay” also.

Takeaway 2: Cary your bank book … passbook … remember them? Yes they still depend upon them here. I know people who have accounts without passbooks. Don’t fall into that trap. ATM’s contain a special sensor called a “critical need detector”, or so it seems. If you have plenty money the machine works first time, every time. If you’re broke, it don’t.

Yes, I know, what a nuisance. But needing groceries and wanting to take your wife to lunch is ever, ever so much easier when you have the money in your pocket to pay for it.

Down to the bank, fill up the withdrawal slip while waiting in line (you do carry blank withdrawal slips along with your passbook, don’t you?), a lot of tellers are working and the security guard is managing the front of the line, directing people to open teller stations as fast as possible.

Looks like only a few minutes wait, but I better text Mita and let her know, right? No, wrong. Another lesson learned years ago. No cell phone calls or texting in a bank … it’s a security issue. Better to turn the darn thing off before you enter so you aren’t tempted, unless you want a personal chat with a white-uniformed fellow with a very large sawed off 12 gauge.

There, now it’s my turn. Staring at her terminal the teller asks, “Sir, for security purposes, what’s your middle name”?

“It’s right there on the form and on the passbook, ‘Walter’,” I respond. Fast forward through several repeats. What’s wrong with this woman?

Then it dawns on me … I keep forgetting. A majority of Filipnos consider that a person’s mother’s family name, in other words her maiden name, _has_ to be your offical middle name. Even well educated and cosmopolitan Flipinos will get confused. This is complicated by the fact that many people’s middle name _is_ their mother’s maiden name.

When someone asks for your middle name, they typically want your mother’s maiden name. Keep that in mind if you want money … or snd money to someone. Just another of those cultures separated by a common language deals … just becuase both parties are speaking perfectly understandable English is no proof they are understanding each other at all.

OK. enough. This has grown way longer than I planned. More about the mall visit next time.

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