In many ways I suppose this title should have read “One Task at a Time” because that’s a creed I have learned to live by during my stay here in the Philippines. To young (or old) ambitious, goal oriented, take charge type guys this sounds like a pretty self-defeating attitude, but hear me out before you hit the back arrow on your browser and surf off to someplace more action oriented.
A valuable acquaintance whom I met here in the Philippines years ago, long before I made the actual move, was the first American I met who was really making money in the Philippines. He wasn’t retired, he had to pension income, he had no substantial investment income and he wasn’t living off a job in the USA.
He had a furniture store and a small network of other dealers in the US who liked selling Philippine-produced furniture products. There is some great furniture available here, especially in Cebu where this fellow was headed when Mita and I met with him in Manila.
He had quite a bit of advice about setting up a business here, or here and in the US, and I took away many gems. The one that still shines brightest is, make each day count for something, but preferably one thing and one thing only.
I have met so many fellow expats who are upset, al;most continually, over the way things work here in the Philippines. Nothing is efficient enough, everything works different than in the US and everything seems to take longer than it should.
Any human has the right to be upset from time to time. Anyone who knows me knows I have a quick temper. I’ll be the first to admit to getting bent out of shape often.
But I don’t ‘live’ in that mode. This continually stressing out on getting it done and getting it done now and getting it done for the absolute lowest price is not only very wearing on those around you but also absolutely detrimental to your health. “High Blood” as we call it here, heart disease, stroke and there’s even possibly cancer also are all known to be stress related.
And if you’re lucky enough to be only in your 30’s and 40’s and feel advice from an old f*rt like me is too ‘fuddy duddy’, consider this … in the end we are all dead. And I have buried a shocking number of friends and business associates who were in their 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. Live your life as if it will go on forever, but remember that it won’t. You have no warrantee… not even the next five minutes is for sure, for either you or me.
The advice:
Plan only one task or objective per day. You need to go to the bank and settle some issue there? Don’t plan on going to the phone company and fixing an accounting problem there the same day, too.
Need to go to the doctor? Fine, but don’t be rushed through your doctor’s appointment and PO’d and stressed out before you even leave his office because you are also trying to get to the computer store to buy a printer the same afternoon. One task per day, period.
You may be laughing and shaking your head … hey, fine, that’s your prerogative, but I can assure you this is one of the best tips you’ll ever get about living here.
Life is slower here and it’s different. It’s different in ways you just don’t think of, even if you’ve been here more than two years full time as I have. Obstacles will pop up when you least expect them. Let me give you a concrete example:
Yesterday we were scheduled to take Mita’s mom to the eye doctor. The one the family had used before wasn’t satisfactory and she wanted to try one in Quezon City (part of Metro Manila) about a 40 minute drive (via expressway) from our provincial home.
Well I read the newspapers and watch the news on Filipino TV … you do too, don’t you? (major newspapers are all available online and The Filipino Channel is available anywhere in the US, recommended if you are thinking of living here) … so I knew that in addition to the normal December rush there would be major construction on one of the main roads we had to traverse.
So we left early, and I made sure there was drinking water in the car, plenty of fuel and that everyone from young to old went to the potty before we went.
And indeed there was traffic. Five regular lanes and two ‘bus lanes’ squeezed down to two active traffic lanes. It took some time. But the low- stress key is, I had nothing else at all planned for the rest of the day … and in the end the trip wasn’t twice as long as usual, only about 15or 20 minutes longer, no big thing.
We found parking right in front of the new doctor’s office and helped mom inside. That’s when things started going downhill. Or uphill in this case. The doctor’s office building was a narrow commercial setup with just a cramped reception area, restrooms and an x-ray department on the ground floor and a very intimidating stairway to the examining rooms above … I stopped counting at 14 steps, there was a landing and more steps above that.
Mother is past 80 and in frail health. She did not feel able to climb those stairs. Elevator? “Sorry, we don’t have”. Now any of you who have had to deal with elder care in the US know that there are easily installable moving chair setups that fit easily even on residential stairways … costs a few thousand dollars perhaps … and this clinic is part of one of the largest, profit making medical care organizations in the Philippines … we’re not talking some charity hospital in a slam areas. I’d wager they make thousands of dollars per month just out of this one building, easily.
Had she needed to be seen for some immediate life-threatening problem, Mita’s brother Philipp (who happened to be along yesterday) and I could have easily carried her up in a chair, but mother’s a proud woman who doesn’t want a fuss made over her. Remember the pride or ‘hiya’ thing. I certainly wasn’t going to get involved in ‘helping’ in ways I wasn’t asked to. This is a huge mistake a foreigner can make a dozen times a day if you don’t think out your actions. “Helping” when not asked can bring on a lot of embarrassment to the person being helped. When you’re with an older person, especially one in charge and used to being in charge, follow their lead, don’t blunder in and ‘fix’ things.
Mother made up her mind quickly. “Let’s go” was her response and back out to the car we went.
The idea o making facilities accessible to handicapped or even those with just old age fragility problems is something almost entirely foreign to the Philippines. Even in the largest cities in the most high priced commercial medical care organizations if you’re physically handicapped, too bad for you.
When you first come here you will be amazed at the lack of people you’ll see in a wheel chair. that’s not because there is any lack of people with physical disabilities, it’s because it’s nearly impossible for many to get outside their homes in one. There’s no ADA here or even a thought in most cases for those with non-standard abilities. Pretty much a complete blind spot in people’s minds … again and again this country reminds me of my childhood 50 years ago.
In the US, when I was a boy I never heard the word ‘disabled’. It was substituted for in day-to-day life by the term ‘shut-in’. If your legs didn’t work or some other disadvantage had befallen you, you stayed home and out of sight, The idea that alternatives to stairs, ramps in curbs, handicapped parking etc. would be implemented to aid those who needed them was more foreign to my grandparent’s generation than the idea of time travel. That ‘strangeness’ lives on here. Welcome to the Philippines.
Don’t worry, the day wasn’t a total loss. Next door to the disappointing medical center was S&R, the US-style big box discount store we always go to every 45 or 60 days, and we hadn’t been there in more than a month.
They have parking right near the door, no steps, and a place for mother to sit while the rest of us shopped, so shop we did. And lunch too in their discount food court.
Then back through the traffic and home, got here about 2 pm. A sort of successful day. We still have to find a place for mother to get her checkup done, but we bought, among other things, the Christmas turkey (Swift’s Butterball of course) and because I had not scheduled anything more than that one trip, devoting almost the whole day to the affair didn’t upset me or raise my blood pressure in the slightest. It’s all part of the living in the Philippines experience.
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Hi Dave, my father is wheelchair bound and their house has ramps everywhere. To go out is another matter, but it is not too bad here.
When I go visit my sister in Quezon City, I am still so amazed at how they arrange the day – everyone’s plans are discussed so they can arrange the most efficient way of having everyone achieve their goals for the day. It usually ends up one is waiting for the rest. No wonder the day is always long, and dinner is so late. I would say more than half the day is wasted in traffic. In Davao, if I head off to the city, I can still achieve 4 things – banking, siesta and shopping plus stop and enjoy a cup of coffee.
@Ellen: Yes, exactly, when someone tries to go out in a chair they really have to be dedicated to going out. To be strong physically and brave enough to battle for space in the gutter with taxis and tricycles too (did I mention that sidewalks don’t exist in much of the Philippines … the MMDA has an armored bus full of riot police who goes around Manila trying to force squatters and peddlers behind a new ‘Pink Line’ that’s designed to give the streets back to traffic. Much of Manlia has wide enough streets, if cars could only drive on them. It’s definitely a tough place for the nadicapped and even for those of us who might prefer to walk.
Hi Dave – living one day at a time, or living in the moment (mindfulness) is a lot more difficult than it sounds, at least for me.
For a variety of reasons I think it is more a way of life there, for many anyway. At least it has seemed that way to me during my times there.
@Randy C: yes that may be one of the reason living here still appeals to me. I spend a lot less time worrying and stressing here, even though there is certainly a lot to stress about, same as anywhere. I gave up participation in a number of groups involving retiremtn that I ued to belong to … everyone is so worried and stressed about their last penny, investment this, health plan that and so on that I felt it was just shortening my life. Instead, I just live it. Merry Christmas.
Dave; one thing a day is good advice, and being gainfully unemployed (retired) I sometimes blow off the entire day. For anything worth doing can be done tomorrow.
Hi Paul, thanks for stopping by. Indeed, that tomorrow rule works well when you have multiple tasks and have to prioritize. Anything really important wil still be important tomorrow or the enxt day., so plan accordingly.