Comments on: In the Philippines if You’re Pala-Tawa, You’re Doing OK

By: Dave's Wife

Dave's Wife — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 02:47:30 +0000

Dave was too nice to include the joke I made after the bank teller’s comment. I told her, “oh, he’s not really like that…he just puts that smile on whenever he steps out our door…”

It’s bantering, Philippine-style…she knew it was a joke and laughed with me.

Truth is, when I was reviewing the photos from my nephew’s wedding last October it was very pleasing to see Dave genuinely smiling in almost all the pictures. The rest of us were trying to look serious for the first pamangkin’s first serious commitment, but not Dave….

By: Philly

Philly — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 12:57:39 +0000

It’ll be interesting to hear her take … pala is one of those words which have a number of meanings, “prone to’ is one of the main definitions … and tawa is the act of laughing or smiling a lot, so I am sure there’s plenty of adequate bisaya substitutes, but with any sort of slang, it doesn’t always follow that there will be a direct substitute … just like my family’s favorite ”aye pimon’ from illocano … every language has it’s own special made up things.

By: Philly

Philly — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 12:53:36 +0000

@ Queenie: yep, you are so right with those thoughts. It’s one of the most important lessons I ahve been learning since I’ve been here … getting mad doesn’t fix anything.

It is amazing tto me though, just how nice that lady’s comment made me feel … many of us go through life, I think, at least telling ourselves we don’t really care much what others tink … but inside we really do.

I hereby resolve to be more patient the next ‘blankety-blank-blank-blank’ time something else gets screwed up. You know all the banks in the Philippines basically have been on an 8 day holiday, except those kind people at BPO and I think some BPI and a few other mall branches … they’ve been working all day everyday, extra hours because the mall is open extra hours too … gotta give them credit for their smiles.

By: Mindanao Bob

Mindanao Bob — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 08:52:35 +0000

Hi Dave – I had to ask what “pala tawa” was, so no… it doesn’t translate! I’m not sure what the Bisaya term would be. I’ll ask Bebe when I see her tomorrow!

By: queeniebee

queeniebee — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 00:43:02 +0000

Well Dave, what is that saying “you can attract more flies with sugar than with vinegar” or something like that, often I think taking a kinder, gentler approach works out better for everyone in the long run. Also I think if one forgets about the idea of always having to be “right” in a situation or trying to be in control, it’s also easier all around for everyone.

By: Philly

Philly — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 00:06:29 +0000

@ Bob, yes indeedy, Bob … I’m sure you’ve had a similar expereince, becuase I’ve observed you go out of your way to treat people well … and seen it in thier faces after your back is turned. (you can tell a lot about a freind by following around behind him ).

I felt on top of the world, still do … speaking of feeling good I wonder if that lady knows what a big gift she gave me. She just had a baby recently, likely considers her bank salary could really stand to be bigger, but she’s a much wealthier woman than she realizes, perhaps.

Does that pala-tawa expression translate into Bisaya or do you have similar one down there in the sunny southland?

By: Philly

Philly — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 23:59:12 +0000

@ Queeniebee. Yes I guess mysdelf that I’ve been unconciously ‘faking it’ at that bank a few times, Eevn just a couple months ago they screwed things up with a couple ATM ‘no dispense’ issues, where the money does come back but you have to wait out the bank doing it in their own good time. The exact same week my US bank, however, took the same $1500 USD payment out of my checking account three times, so I wound up overdrawn there. As my daddy used to say “I was so mad I wanted to chew nails and spit tacks”.

But I considered what my optiins were and figured I just better make paki usap until both banks had their errors fixed, because the more you scream and shout … even when the employees really are being dufus’s … the slower and less cooperative they get … on either side of the pond.

So if this makes me a phony or a pushover for bad service, so be it … iI’m not here to wage war, just to have fun.

I found out somehting by accident recently too … I stopped at my bank manager’s desk the other day to talk to him about the rural bank situation I wrote about recently … it seemed like me asking him how things in the banking business worked … instead of telling him what was wrong with his bank just made his day …what the heck, little gifts of respect that make people feel good and cost nothing seem worth it to me,

By: Mindanao Bob

Mindanao Bob — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 12:46:28 +0000

Great gift, Dave! Congrats!

By: queeniebee

queeniebee — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 12:11:27 +0000

Good for you Dave! I think that male expats’ with a temper or sometimes crabby outlook will find that it just doesn’t fit in with the philippine lifestyle and if they’re lucky, they’ll learn to adapt and naturally change for the better. Not everyone can be as blessed, but I think it should be everyone’s goal in life. As you say life is short don’t waste your time. Advice for all of us– “Fake it till you make it” if a smile doesn’t come easy!